She was so inexcusably, overhwelmingly, brilliantly human. Intensity and grace infused her every movement, every breath. Her words drifted to me across this great icy expanse, honest and true and heartbreaking. Every emotion crossed her face like a white flag, each tiny movement a silent cry of surrender, submission.
(more) She stood there like a lonely gods' exegesis, holy writ scrawled upon flesh and blood.
I loved her wholly. I wanted to take her in my arms and lay her down and listen to her whispers and cries, to explore that honesty, to discover its deepest depths. Instead I stood back. I shut down. I held my breath and closed my eyes and wondered why I couldn't respond.
She responded to every happening in the world like the trigger in a snapdragon. The lightest of touches from outside herself and she would move, she would react, her petals would close suddenly and smother this intrusive experience with pieces of herself. I could not. Nothing could get near. I wondered often if my trigger, this thing that pushes me to react, to grasp, to hold, to defend, was somehow faulty. Broken. Perhaps the messages from outside simply weren't getting through.
She uttered words of love and I met her gaze, and said nothing.
There was nothing to say.
There never had been.(less)
